Christmas'not far 

Apple forwarded this

Diving
In 1905, the U.S. Navy began development of more modern equipment, diving tables, and diving practices using experience from worldwide operations. In order to go deeper and remain longer at depth, Commander George "Papa Topside" Bond started research for the Navy in 1957 leading to the development of "saturation diving." Bond perfected the equipment and diving tables through the "Genesis" program and the "seaLab" phases of activity. Dr. Robert Workman, a U.S. Navy Physiologist, was primarily responsible for the development of diving tables needed for saturation diving which uses a breathing mixture of helium and oxygen. In 1957, Edward Lee Taylor and Mark Banjavich, two ex-Navy divers, along with French diver Jean Valz, formed Taylor Diving & Salvage, later acquired by Brown & Root. They developed the techniques and equipment necessary (recompression chambers for surface decompression) to extend the use of mixed-gas diving to the deeper depths required by the offshore industry. Swiss physicist Hannes Keller, together with Shell Oil, experimented with diving to depths of 1,000 ft offshore California in the mid 1960s using helium-ioxygen. His efforts led to further development of the diving tables used in mixed-gas diving. In the early 1970s and for 10 years thereafter, Shell started the development of Remote Operated Vehicles (ROVs) to conduct deep offshore inspection activities to supplement, and in some cases replace, the necessity to use divers. The first subsea completion was installed by Shell in the Gulf of Mexico in 1961, West Cameron Block 192, waterdepth 17 m (57 ft), as a test case for later deepwater application. Saturation diving was first used offshore in 1967 to install Shell's Marlin System at 320 ft in the West Delta field.

Recognizing the pioneering efforts of the following people and companies who contributed to the development of this technology:
Mark Banjavich, Robert "Bob" Barth, George F. Bond, Hannes Keller, Walter F. Mazzone, Edward L. Taylor, Jean G. Valz, Robert D. WorkmanShell, Taylor Diving (Halliburton), U.S. Navy
So many are not here anymore. Hi Hempy,Sky and Dad.

Forwarded by Appleita

Joan on Saying No:

"You must appreciate yourself enough to say "no" when you want to, to get that word in, even if you think you're being rude -- and not feel guilty about it, then or later. Guilt is the most useless emotion we can feel, and it probably was invented by bossy boutique salespersons."

In Tahiti they say Aiita, It's pronounced A-eeta, they don't use it often but when they do, it's said in a strong
voice and louder then in normal conversation------>means that you've been too far and that they can't just
ignore your proposal. Yes is the usual answer so that you don't have to say it, you just have to blink your eyes open. Being polite the maori way is not to ask anything that might have a 'no' for answer.

Steve Harrigan

Steve Harrigan gets waterboarded by Fox' staff (Not Falstaff you fool)
Apple, can you tell your french son in law were he can get wineboarded..... Please !!!!

Ashame of the IQ test

I got only 3 Apple and I'm not good looking anymore, worse: I'm not going to do anything about it except forget it fast.

Apple's E-Mail

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body. " He did not say " Eat me" . 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry. 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Just details.

brillant defense

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied: "Yes, we did look, but your client didn't."

Brillant jury